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.0007/10. i have not felt this violated since the last time i was violated. fuck you shamalamadeuchebag, there will be no sequel.


skaje wrote:The Last Airbender is getting a 6%. Eclipse is getting a 52%....tempting, tempting...
Perhaps the material is to blame, with the dialogue, most of which seems to have been ripped right out of Stephanie Meyer's books, being so bad they make George Lucas' prequel scripts seem like they were written by David Mamet. I'm amazed Melissa Rosenberg, who does such an awesome job with DEXTER, keeps coming back to the thankless task of adapting the TWILIGHT novels although I supposed the big paycheck doesn't hurt.
Some people hoped the formerly edgy David Slade, of HARD CANDY, might give ECLIPSE a shot of energy but this is totally a paycheck job, with him doing a workman like performance behind the camera. There's no howlers like the 360 degree “watch the seasons change as Bella cries” shot from NEW MOON, but Slade doesn't try to distinguish this film at all. Meanwhile, the special FX, including the ridiculous obvious green screen, and CGI werewolves, seem like they were pulled out of a bad Cannon film. It's amazing that the TWILIGHT films could make so much money, without the producers at least trying to make the FX look passable, and a little less “SyFy channel original movie”-ish. I've seen better CG on episodes of STARGATE: ATLANTIS.
Overall, I absolutely loathed ECLIPSE. It's marginally better than NEW MOON, but that's like saying JONAH HEX is better than X-MEN 3. The difference is negligible, and this is still a shockingly bad piece of work. Five years from now, people will look back at the TWILIGHT SAGA, and wonder what the hell people ever saw in them. That's when those of us who always hated these films will point and laugh.
RATING: 2/10
Somehow the Twilight films are getting worse. The more money Summit spends on them, the shittier they become. The first film was bad, but had a ragged charm all its own. The second film, New Moon, was a turgid disaster that finally sputtered out with a complete non-climax. And now the third, Eclipse, is just a tedious slog fit only for the most devoted Twihards. Boring, stupid and utterly squandering the concept of a vampire army fighting werewolves, Eclipse makes New Moon look like a snappy screwball comedy.
Eclipse is a movie where people just stand around talking at each other, delivering the plot and the absurdly minimalist character progression in expositiony chunks.
I swear the last time I saw this level of ineptness in a major studio release it involved Mark Wahlberg running from the wind (disclosure: I think The Happening is a brilliant piece of bad cinema. I do not feel the same way about Eclipse).
Three films in and I remain baffled by the popularity of this franchise. This story is not good, these characters are flat and dull, the mythology is generic and derivative, the romantic themes are centuries outdated. And that's just the books - the films are possibly even worse, because at least it only took Stephenie Meyers to write a bad book. Eclipse is the result of poor work from many actors, the writer, the director, and the producers. The only people who come out looking good are the below the line employees, as Eclipse is the most polished looking of all the Twilight movies. But you know what they say about polished turds, right? They're still Twilight movies.
2 out of 10
[/quote]Rating: D+
Eclipse is almost 3 hours of Edward and Bella talking to each other. The most boring on screen couple in the history of cinema, these two pieces of plywood hold hands and talk about the exact same thing for over two hours. It's excruciating to have to sit through. It's almost as if the filmmakers are trying to test our patience with these two. Kristen Stewart, who is somehow getting worse with each picture, still looks at the ground all day while biting her lip and brushing back her hair. My trash can has more energy that this woman. She always looks bored, she puts no energy into the character and I'm sick of looking at her pissy face on screen. It's as if she detests being in front of a camera and is only doing it to pay off some debt to a gay vampire mafia.
Robert Pattinson, who I think is realizing how stupid he looks as Edward, is just as bored looking on screen. These two have no energy and it makes the whole movie drag on even longer than it should. I can tell that he's sick of acting with a person who would rather look at the ground than at his face. Sometimes I wonder if Robert goes to his trailer and practices saying his lines to the floor in preperation for his scenes with Kristen.
I do not believe there is a filmmaker alive who could manage the impossible feat of creating a faithful adaptation of Meyer's book and also making a good movie. Going into the home stretch, I think this is one of the worst blockbuster franchises of all time, inept from start to finish, and getting worse as they go. There will come a time when we look back on these films and wonder what sort of mob insanity drove their success, and we will laugh and shake our heads and pretend they were never really that popular.
There will be a lot of people seeing these movies this weekend, and nothing I say will change that. But I dare you, as you sit there watching, to really think about what you're looking at. Don't just let this garbage slide across your corneas. Don't just let the parade of pretty faces go by.
Please... if you've found your way here, and if you're reading these words... then I have faith in you. You're better than "The Twilight Saga." We all are

I have a sneaking suspicion this is going to be the only film in this particular live-action franchise. If they do move forward, there is little or no chance they will be doing so with Shyamalan attached. And the idea that he's not even competent enough to pull off a live-action version of an action cartoon pretty much puts the last stake in the heart of the notion of him as "the new Spielberg." After I saw "Lady In The Water," I called a friend of mine and compared the film to that footage from the '60s of the monk lighting himself on fire in public as a form of protest. I'd forgotten about that call until my buddy reminded me the other day, but I think that sums up that film and "The Happening" both... cries for help that were public and ugly and left little behind aside from ash and horrifying images. This time out, I think the cries for help are over. This is more like you're at a party and a dude walks up to you and starts telling you a story, but he's so drunk that he gets most of the details wrong and he gets things out of order and he skips important information and, most importantly, he's totally unaware that he's pissed his pants and his dick is showing. It's embarrassing, and you hardly know where to look.
For fans of the show, I can sum up how big a misfire this is very simply. They got Appa wrong. As you can see in the photo, he looks right, but he's just used as a transition from one scene to the next without any discernible personality. I repeat... they got Appa wrong.




skaje wrote:Last Airbender: ...critics seem at a loss to describe just how bad it is.
and
pretty much sum it up.



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